Tomorrow the sun will come up again and perhaps I have another chance to make my life a bit better than it was yesterday...

Long title? Yeah I thought so too!
Okay so the point of today's blog is to be an idiot and just ramble on about the usual things I tend to ramble on about. So how about I start now...

Well yesterday for starters was my LAST swimming carnival EVER which was fun in some sense I guess considering I took over 200 photos of almost everything I could find and do. I wanted to dress up as a TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle) but unfortunately that idea never turned out quite as I had planned. Instead my amazing friend William or as I like to call him "Khammy" suggested we come as "b-ballers", which I thought was a brilliant idea considering I'm an NBA junkie!
So Khammy bought in his faded as hell number 32 Yellow and Purple Lakers Jersey which was about 30 sizes bigger than me and my plan was set.
However yesterday morning when I woke up "feeling like P-Diddy" (totally kidding, but I did feel like shit) I decided to not wear my b-baller get up and instead rocked up to school as plain old "MEL" and let me tell you did I look exactly like her!
Well anyways seeing as almost everyone else dressed up I decided to conform to all others and pulled out Khammy's Lakers jersey from my bag and pulled off my shirt revealing my yellow polka dot bikini to almost everyone around me... oh well had to flaunt it one day or another, correct? :)
And this is when the photoshoot rally began. For about 40 minutes, non-stop, cameras were flashing everywhere... people tend to go wild when they realise they wasted the past 5 years of their schooling life not attending the Swimming Carnival and then coming the LAST year to only take millions of luvo selfy shots of themselves doing the most crudest, awkwardest and totally random poses!
Well I won't be a hypocrite and I will openly admit I was also one of them... SHAMEFUL? Yes I know!
All in all, the swimming carnival was average, could have been better but I guess coming home to an empty house to sulk over lifes various issues was definately trumped by an average day at the carnival!

So moving on further to today. The day started off just as lame and dead as the past week has started off for me. One issue after the other, to be honest I think I cried almost everyday about a new problem or an old one recurring and biting me up the ass again. And yes today morning, like I said, was no different!
Pretty much my entire day today was a blur at school I guess you could say considering all I did was study (which I guess is "standard" for school) and attempt to smile and put on a facade for all those who kept questioning "what's wrong?"
But once I came home, things sorted out themselves. I think I'm rather pleased with myself considering I generally tend to doubt myself and see myself as a person with zero self-esteem and even lower lack of courage and bravery. But today I surprised myself and in some sense discovered a new aspect of my persona which I never thought existed!
Basically I think I'm doing well... I did expect myself to be shattered completely and become a total wreck after the events of this crazy week but surprisingly I kept myself together.
I'm not exactly smiling, nor am I totally wrecked... Hmm here's a question...
What do you call being stuck in the middle of 100 million emotions?
Well I'm in exactly that phase!

Oh well I'm hoping tomorrow will be a better day, afterall the sun comes up every morning... some mornings it's just a tad bit harder to find it amongst all those dark clouds... But me "trying" to be the ever-so-cheerful optimist, won't give up looking for that little bit of shine even if I do have to do it on my own... let's just call it being "independent"! :)

Anyways today I think I'll sign off with a quote my year 5 teacher once recited to me when I was going through a hell of a rough patch...
"It's just one day at a time" - Mrs Sharkey (My Year 5 Teacher)
(Just as a little side note... She told me that about 7 odd years ago and I've never been able to forget it... Infact it's sort of become the motto and philosphy of my life because now days that's all I have to say to reassure myself that I can overcome any obstacles, insecurities or fears that I have in my heart...
So thanks heaps Mrs Sharkey, wherever you are!)

Melissa