It definately don't feel like "Christmas Eve"

Ahh Christmas eve, a day where mothers do their final grocery shopping, children beg their parents to open their gifts a day early and fathers finish up at work to ensure Christmas day is spent with the family. Families get together eat a nice hearty Christmas eve meal and plan out their activities for the festive day ahead.

Such a splendid day indeed.

But for me things don't happen like that anymore. It sorta sucks actually because I enjoy doing those traditional little things most families continue to do even today.
Instead Christmas for me this year will consist of an early morning wake up call, maybe open those few gifts under our lifeless tree followed by a half hour or so dedicated to feeding my baby sister Mali and then possibly a trip to the hospital. How do I know all this?
Well thats basically what I've been doing on a daily basis for the past 3 weeks... (excluding of course the opening of the gifts bit)
Why would that change now?

...

Unfortunately this year my nana (granddad) is in hospital due to a kidney that refuses to function any longer. Along with this he has a whole list of other miniscule problems which have all joined forces at once to form one massive illness.

I think it's time that I accept old age has a big part to play in his illness, afterall you can't stay young forever. I am glad though knowing that my nana has lived his life to the fullest, the hard part is watching him suffer in his last few moments. Everyone in my family is reluctant to say the "d-y-i-n-g" word and I'm not at all surprised... we can all hope right?
But we all know the truth... his time is almost up!
Even though this is the situation at home for me, I refuse to let all this sadness ruin my 17th christmas and possibly my nana's last.

....

So considering this is my first blog post I think I'm going to cut it short now and finish up. I really hoped this wouldn't turn into an emotional venting scheme for me but I guess thats exactly what its become, well for now atleast.

Since I really haven't got a sign-off quote yet I shall leave you with an inspirational reminder!
My role model bball player, Kobe Bryant- the Legend of the LA Lakers, once said:
"Everything negative- pressure, challenges- is all an opportunity for me to rise"
And that's exactly what I'm going to do!

Melissa